Partying In Nairobi 1


One rainy evening of a Friday, at the entrance of a mall, I pulled out my iPhone to save a contact and a packet of condoms fell right in front of everyone. I was meeting a group of ladies from a big global firm, fam. And I had no plans of returning home until AM because TGIF. So I had slipped a pack in my coat’s inner pocket and went for that business meeting. Like a boss.

I picked it up, kept it safe and proceeded taking her number like nothing happened.

The thing is, partying can be a serious thing in Nairobi if you are about that life and experience. Therefore, everything needs to be taken care of well in advance; condoms included because as a general rule of – always go with an open mind, hope in your heart and rubbers in your pocket. You will experience one of life’s greatest joys, trust me. I’m a guru.

Speaking hope and open mindedness, ive seen some people take this overboard. So let me tell you about some of the people I encounter while im out trying to have a bomb time.

The Charismatic Bouncer

This is the opposite of your traditional Nairobi bouncer. He’s a gentleman, greets you, does the search and ushers you to the ushers. Even at departure, he doesn’t ask for money, and wishes you a good time all the time. He’s the kind of guy who would be the good cop but is actually studying to be a private security expert. He’s definitely a good guy because you might need him when you finally get famous.

His opposite is the traditional Nairobi bouncer. The one with an ill-fitting suit because he only wears baby t-shirts normally. The one you can tell never touches a book except when admiring athletes and models from a 2004 Mens magazine pale kwa gym yam awe. He ignores you, pushes you aside to wacha wateja waingie. He lets in 16 year olds search free because they have lighter skin tones but he wants to see your ID even if you look 35 and dressed in a Yeezy suit by Gucci. He will try his best to annoy you, however polite you behave and if you suck his dick enough to go in, he will be expecting money from you upon exit.

Inside, you will find your own way to get a drink because most bars are always crowded. But they all have mobile payment options so i just like to pay for what i want then i ask for my drink, bing!

Sometimes, the bar is where  i like to start conversations. Just turn and see who is around, could be a fine lady or a nice guy. However, If you are about saving money, I suggest you only do this after you get your drink, so its easier to just raise a toast to whoever else has their drink by you. Otherwise, you can take this free lesson from me.

One time, I started a convo with a lady while we waited for the barman’s favor to reign on us. For some reason she seemed cool, so I offered her a drink. As i got my humble beer, this woman had ordered for a cocktail worth 750 shillings! My frens, that’s how I just paid and went back to the floor. Solo.

Once on the dance floor, whether you like it or not, you’re going to see different types of people having a good time in different types of ways…COMING IN PART 2

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@RonjeyRocks is a multi talented, alternative thinker and Cool Master General.
A champion of arts and culture currently unsettled in East Africa.