How To Look Sober When You’re High AF


If you’re like me, then you’re prolly one of those people who hate being “obviously high”. The thing is, you shouldn’t feel guilty for nature doing its thing, and you shouldn’t also bother those that don’t partake because we all live out here in babylon and mans haffi survive. So here are few tips to help you look and function well when you’re indeed high AF!

Dont Stink

The natural smell of marijuana tends to stick on you whether it was a J-walk, hotbox or a chill one with the homies. The best way to avoid going about smelling like a roach is to apply some cologne, perfume or deodorant. If you know about plants, you can rub some mint on your hands if you’re in a tricky situation

If you want to hide the smoke from the air, consider burning incense, blowing a fan or air purifiers.

Watch Your Eyes

Weed  causes your inner eye pressure to drop, resulting in an expansion of blood vessels throughout the eye AKA BLOODSHOT EYES or #MachoNyanya. To deal with this, Visine or other whitening eye drops which contain special chemicals to reduce blood vessel size. WARNING: over use of these products can cause tolerance and may even lead to rebound hyperemia, or chronic red-eye.

Dry Mouth/Lips

Of all effects of weed, this has got to be the most annoying. When your lips are so dry you cant even speak and your lips crack when you smile. But this problem has the simplest solution; just drink water, chew gum or apply some lip balm or vaseline.

Control The Munchies

If you dont watch this, youll spend all your money on munchies, LOL.  Avoid overeating when you’re high by consuming a small snack prior to smoking then drink plenty of water to stave off cravings for the next few hours.

Just Calm Tha Fuck Down

You see, weed has different effects on different people but mostly, it tends to make you laugh, paranoid or extra philosophical. So you need to be aware of your reactions and try to act accordingly. No one is judging but don’t visit your in laws or the bank while stoned.

You’re Not a Philosopher

Marijuana use causes divergent thinking, or the ability to make far-reaching connections out of seemingly unrelated concepts. Though this is no doubt the reason so many artists and creative thinkers credit cannabis for their work, it also a common sign of a freshly-baked brain. If you’re trying to hide your high, consider keeping your deep thoughts in a journal instead of on your lips.